Spouse melanoma

Forums General Melanoma Community Spouse melanoma

  • Post
    flvermonter
    Participant

      Hi, My husband was diagnosed with melanoma from a mole on his back.  He had it over 20 years, but had changed in February this year.  The pathology came back as melanoma.  Then Moffit removed the rest of the mole and 7 lymph nodes under the arm.  6 of the 7 were melanoma.  Then they did a pet scan and found a spot on his liver and his right lung.

      Hi, My husband was diagnosed with melanoma from a mole on his back.  He had it over 20 years, but had changed in February this year.  The pathology came back as melanoma.  Then Moffit removed the rest of the mole and 7 lymph nodes under the arm.  6 of the 7 were melanoma.  Then they did a pet scan and found a spot on his liver and his right lung.

      He is having a ct scan of the liver this week, then the next day is the ct for the lung and a biopsy.  He has been diagnosed with stage iii, but if it is cancer in the lung or liver it will be stage iv.  He feels fine, no symptons, no weight loss, or pain anywhere.  He is 70 and had an aorta valve replaced 2 years ago.  he was fine with that.

       

      It seems to take so long for each of the steps for testing.  Maybe that is how it is supposed to be, but we started this with the dermatoligist early march.  Once he has the tests next week, it will be another week before we know anything. 

       

      I am being positive that the tests will be negative for cancer.  The dr mentioned he would go in and take out the other lymph nodes if it is not cancer in the organs.  if it is, they will do no surgery.  What kind of options for trials are available…anyone know?  Also, where he is 70 and not 40 I am afraid he would not qualify for many trials.

       

      I am new to all this, as I told his doctor, we are educated people, but babies when it comes to cancer.

       

      Thanks, for any help/advice

    Viewing 2 reply threads
    • Replies
        Janner
        Participant

          Sorry to hear this.  Truthfully, the aortic valve might be more worrisome than the age for clinical trials.  They can exclude you for almost anything.  If in good shape, age itself isn't typically a disqualifier.  But the older you get, the more likely you are to have other problems which could disqualify you.  There are some newly approved treatments in the last few years that only require good health (not clinical trials) so it may be that one of those might be an option (if needed, later on).  As for trials, you can go to clinicaltrials.gov.  In addition, there are also services to help you find qualifying trials.  I believe the MRF (hosts this site) has one.  Just keep asking questions and we'll help you figure this stuff out as you move along!

          Best wishes,

          Janner

          Janner
          Participant

            Sorry to hear this.  Truthfully, the aortic valve might be more worrisome than the age for clinical trials.  They can exclude you for almost anything.  If in good shape, age itself isn't typically a disqualifier.  But the older you get, the more likely you are to have other problems which could disqualify you.  There are some newly approved treatments in the last few years that only require good health (not clinical trials) so it may be that one of those might be an option (if needed, later on).  As for trials, you can go to clinicaltrials.gov.  In addition, there are also services to help you find qualifying trials.  I believe the MRF (hosts this site) has one.  Just keep asking questions and we'll help you figure this stuff out as you move along!

            Best wishes,

            Janner

              flvermonter
              Participant

                Thanks for the information and will look at the trials.  He is also type II diabetic, and interestingly I found that glucose is loved by cancer.  His numbers dropped in February when he got a bad cold.  They have not improved much, but guessing that is the cancer.  He still eats the same (badly), but his numbers for sugar have been down from 170 to 100 – 120.

                He also has kidney problems and his kidney doctor just called to order an ultra sound of the kidneys.  I am guessing that causes the swelling he gets in his legs.  He takes fluid pills for that.  I know he has other medical problems with the diabetes, heart, but like any other spouse, he is my world. Our kids are great and of course the grandchildren are the best.

                I just want to be the best advocate for him to get the best treatment.  I hear great things about Moffit Cancer Center in Tampa, and really like his Dr Zager.  Just trying to do as much research as i can.  thanks for the help.  Mary

                flvermonter
                Participant

                  Thanks for the information and will look at the trials.  He is also type II diabetic, and interestingly I found that glucose is loved by cancer.  His numbers dropped in February when he got a bad cold.  They have not improved much, but guessing that is the cancer.  He still eats the same (badly), but his numbers for sugar have been down from 170 to 100 – 120.

                  He also has kidney problems and his kidney doctor just called to order an ultra sound of the kidneys.  I am guessing that causes the swelling he gets in his legs.  He takes fluid pills for that.  I know he has other medical problems with the diabetes, heart, but like any other spouse, he is my world. Our kids are great and of course the grandchildren are the best.

                  I just want to be the best advocate for him to get the best treatment.  I hear great things about Moffit Cancer Center in Tampa, and really like his Dr Zager.  Just trying to do as much research as i can.  thanks for the help.  Mary

                  hbecker
                  Participant

                    Mary,

                       So sorry you've had to join us here. I understand your urgent need for information and the frustration of waiting for results. It does take time – but it sounds like you are in good hands at Moffitt, so give yourself a chance to breathe. Make sure you ask questions and understand the answers when you see the doctor. Take good notes so that you can go back and ask more questions next time.

                       I've found it very helpful to ask questions here – people on this board are very generous with their time and thoughtful about their responses, and some of them (like Janner!) know a lot. She has been both a caregiver (like you and me) and a patient, so her perspective is very broad.

                       As a caregiver I encourage you to take time and find ways to take care of yourself too. You will need your strength to help him with whatever comes next.

                       Take care – be in touch if you want to.

                    Hazel

                    hbecker
                    Participant

                      Mary,

                         So sorry you've had to join us here. I understand your urgent need for information and the frustration of waiting for results. It does take time – but it sounds like you are in good hands at Moffitt, so give yourself a chance to breathe. Make sure you ask questions and understand the answers when you see the doctor. Take good notes so that you can go back and ask more questions next time.

                         I've found it very helpful to ask questions here – people on this board are very generous with their time and thoughtful about their responses, and some of them (like Janner!) know a lot. She has been both a caregiver (like you and me) and a patient, so her perspective is very broad.

                         As a caregiver I encourage you to take time and find ways to take care of yourself too. You will need your strength to help him with whatever comes next.

                         Take care – be in touch if you want to.

                      Hazel

                      flvermonter
                      Participant

                        Thank you all for your help and advice.  We go on Wed this week for the liver scan and Thursday for the lung ct and biopsy.  It will be the following week before we meet with the doctor and team.  So strange how he feels fine, no "symptons" of any type.  He does not like to talk about the melanoma or options as for him, we don't have the "difinitive'word or where he is.

                         

                        I just retired last year and have been doing some consulting for descretionary spending, but have stopped that. I always thought we would travel, and do so many things together.  It is so scary to see that we may not travel to the places we thought, but we will be together for as long as we have.  I am hoping the CTs on the liver and lung are just "spots" and not cancer.  So strange as you think realistically, but hope optimistically.  I am sure you folks have been through this before, and is a new path for me.  

                         

                        I have notices his legs are swollen again and know that the Medical dr had said it was cellulitis, so have been having him keep his legs up.  Of course cutting down on salt would help as well.  He is feeling good, but obviously concerned.  He created a blog and sent it out to our grown children and close friends so they can see his status.  It saves us having to update people of how things are going.

                         

                        You are all so helpful and knowledgeable and appreciate you thoughts and advice.

                         

                        Hugs, Mary

                        flvermonter
                        Participant

                          Thank you all for your help and advice.  We go on Wed this week for the liver scan and Thursday for the lung ct and biopsy.  It will be the following week before we meet with the doctor and team.  So strange how he feels fine, no "symptons" of any type.  He does not like to talk about the melanoma or options as for him, we don't have the "difinitive'word or where he is.

                           

                          I just retired last year and have been doing some consulting for descretionary spending, but have stopped that. I always thought we would travel, and do so many things together.  It is so scary to see that we may not travel to the places we thought, but we will be together for as long as we have.  I am hoping the CTs on the liver and lung are just "spots" and not cancer.  So strange as you think realistically, but hope optimistically.  I am sure you folks have been through this before, and is a new path for me.  

                           

                          I have notices his legs are swollen again and know that the Medical dr had said it was cellulitis, so have been having him keep his legs up.  Of course cutting down on salt would help as well.  He is feeling good, but obviously concerned.  He created a blog and sent it out to our grown children and close friends so they can see his status.  It saves us having to update people of how things are going.

                           

                          You are all so helpful and knowledgeable and appreciate you thoughts and advice.

                           

                          Hugs, Mary

                          flvermonter
                          Participant

                            Thank you all for your help and advice.  We go on Wed this week for the liver scan and Thursday for the lung ct and biopsy.  It will be the following week before we meet with the doctor and team.  So strange how he feels fine, no "symptons" of any type.  He does not like to talk about the melanoma or options as for him, we don't have the "difinitive'word or where he is.

                             

                            I just retired last year and have been doing some consulting for descretionary spending, but have stopped that. I always thought we would travel, and do so many things together.  It is so scary to see that we may not travel to the places we thought, but we will be together for as long as we have.  I am hoping the CTs on the liver and lung are just "spots" and not cancer.  So strange as you think realistically, but hope optimistically.  I am sure you folks have been through this before, and is a new path for me.  

                             

                            I have notices his legs are swollen again and know that the Medical dr had said it was cellulitis, so have been having him keep his legs up.  Of course cutting down on salt would help as well.  He is feeling good, but obviously concerned.  He created a blog and sent it out to our grown children and close friends so they can see his status.  It saves us having to update people of how things are going.

                             

                            You are all so helpful and knowledgeable and appreciate you thoughts and advice.

                             

                            Hugs, Mary

                            hbecker
                            Participant

                              Mary,

                                 So sorry you've had to join us here. I understand your urgent need for information and the frustration of waiting for results. It does take time – but it sounds like you are in good hands at Moffitt, so give yourself a chance to breathe. Make sure you ask questions and understand the answers when you see the doctor. Take good notes so that you can go back and ask more questions next time.

                                 I've found it very helpful to ask questions here – people on this board are very generous with their time and thoughtful about their responses, and some of them (like Janner!) know a lot. She has been both a caregiver (like you and me) and a patient, so her perspective is very broad.

                                 As a caregiver I encourage you to take time and find ways to take care of yourself too. You will need your strength to help him with whatever comes next.

                                 Take care – be in touch if you want to.

                              Hazel

                              flvermonter
                              Participant

                                Thanks for the information and will look at the trials.  He is also type II diabetic, and interestingly I found that glucose is loved by cancer.  His numbers dropped in February when he got a bad cold.  They have not improved much, but guessing that is the cancer.  He still eats the same (badly), but his numbers for sugar have been down from 170 to 100 – 120.

                                He also has kidney problems and his kidney doctor just called to order an ultra sound of the kidneys.  I am guessing that causes the swelling he gets in his legs.  He takes fluid pills for that.  I know he has other medical problems with the diabetes, heart, but like any other spouse, he is my world. Our kids are great and of course the grandchildren are the best.

                                I just want to be the best advocate for him to get the best treatment.  I hear great things about Moffit Cancer Center in Tampa, and really like his Dr Zager.  Just trying to do as much research as i can.  thanks for the help.  Mary

                              Janner
                              Participant

                                Sorry to hear this.  Truthfully, the aortic valve might be more worrisome than the age for clinical trials.  They can exclude you for almost anything.  If in good shape, age itself isn't typically a disqualifier.  But the older you get, the more likely you are to have other problems which could disqualify you.  There are some newly approved treatments in the last few years that only require good health (not clinical trials) so it may be that one of those might be an option (if needed, later on).  As for trials, you can go to clinicaltrials.gov.  In addition, there are also services to help you find qualifying trials.  I believe the MRF (hosts this site) has one.  Just keep asking questions and we'll help you figure this stuff out as you move along!

                                Best wishes,

                                Janner

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