melanoma and lung cancer

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  • Post
    • May 23, 2013 at 10:58 pm
    flvermonter
    Participant
      Hello,
      As tests showed, my husband is stage iii and they will schedule surgery to remove the rest of the nodes on that side. Another surgery to remove the stage i lung cancer in his right lung. They came up with 6/27 for date both Drs would be available. Too far out per us and the Melanoma Dr Zager. He booked the sugery 6/6, but after he saw his cardiologist, they have to schedule a stress test. Hopefully, it will be in time for his surgery. He was so down when he got home from the cardiologist wondering what his stress test doesn’t support the surgery. I don’t know that answer. Of course I told him that he will be fine, but he is really down and does not want to talk about it,. Any thoughts of what happens if his stress test doesnot support him having surgery? Also, help me help him be more positive when he does not want to talk about the cancer, or options. Thanks, Mary
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    • Replies
        • May 24, 2013 at 12:00 am
        washoegal
        Participant

          I am sorry you husband is taking this so hard.  The stress test will in all likelihood not rule out surgery, it will only tell the anesthesiologist what he is working with.  Men and women react to thing so differently, it's a wonder we ever manage to procreate wink.  But seriously, give him his space.  If you need to talk come here or find some friends to discuss it with.  In the meantime, for what it's worth, know that you have a lot of folks here pulling for you.

           

          Good Luck,

          Mary

          Stage 3

            • May 24, 2013 at 2:45 am
            POW
            Participant

              A lot of melanoma patients, especially men, don't want to talk about it. Respect that. They also may not want to know about any discouraging statistics or possible hairy side-effects of treatments. Respect that, too. It is very often the role of the caregiver to ask about and research the nitty-gritty. Know what the side effects might be so you can spot them and get them treated immediately. Know what the statistics are so you can prepare for the worst, if necessary. Find and organize important papers. Have a will and power of attorney and so on. You can know the facts and gently, gradually, get your husband to get his affairs in order all without talking to the patient about your fears and possible adverse outcomes. To the patient, always try to be upbeat and optimistic if that's what he wants. Being physically and mentally active, getting good nutrition, and having a positive mental attitude can really help beat melanoma. Unfortunately, in order for the patient to live that way, it means that the caregiver must live with an anxious and heavy heart inside and a sunny optimistic smile on the outside. Yep. That's often the role of the caregiver. 

              • May 24, 2013 at 2:45 am
              POW
              Participant

                A lot of melanoma patients, especially men, don't want to talk about it. Respect that. They also may not want to know about any discouraging statistics or possible hairy side-effects of treatments. Respect that, too. It is very often the role of the caregiver to ask about and research the nitty-gritty. Know what the side effects might be so you can spot them and get them treated immediately. Know what the statistics are so you can prepare for the worst, if necessary. Find and organize important papers. Have a will and power of attorney and so on. You can know the facts and gently, gradually, get your husband to get his affairs in order all without talking to the patient about your fears and possible adverse outcomes. To the patient, always try to be upbeat and optimistic if that's what he wants. Being physically and mentally active, getting good nutrition, and having a positive mental attitude can really help beat melanoma. Unfortunately, in order for the patient to live that way, it means that the caregiver must live with an anxious and heavy heart inside and a sunny optimistic smile on the outside. Yep. That's often the role of the caregiver. 

                • May 24, 2013 at 2:45 am
                POW
                Participant

                  A lot of melanoma patients, especially men, don't want to talk about it. Respect that. They also may not want to know about any discouraging statistics or possible hairy side-effects of treatments. Respect that, too. It is very often the role of the caregiver to ask about and research the nitty-gritty. Know what the side effects might be so you can spot them and get them treated immediately. Know what the statistics are so you can prepare for the worst, if necessary. Find and organize important papers. Have a will and power of attorney and so on. You can know the facts and gently, gradually, get your husband to get his affairs in order all without talking to the patient about your fears and possible adverse outcomes. To the patient, always try to be upbeat and optimistic if that's what he wants. Being physically and mentally active, getting good nutrition, and having a positive mental attitude can really help beat melanoma. Unfortunately, in order for the patient to live that way, it means that the caregiver must live with an anxious and heavy heart inside and a sunny optimistic smile on the outside. Yep. That's often the role of the caregiver. 

                • May 24, 2013 at 12:00 am
                washoegal
                Participant

                  I am sorry you husband is taking this so hard.  The stress test will in all likelihood not rule out surgery, it will only tell the anesthesiologist what he is working with.  Men and women react to thing so differently, it's a wonder we ever manage to procreate wink.  But seriously, give him his space.  If you need to talk come here or find some friends to discuss it with.  In the meantime, for what it's worth, know that you have a lot of folks here pulling for you.

                   

                  Good Luck,

                  Mary

                  Stage 3

                  • May 24, 2013 at 12:00 am
                  washoegal
                  Participant

                    I am sorry you husband is taking this so hard.  The stress test will in all likelihood not rule out surgery, it will only tell the anesthesiologist what he is working with.  Men and women react to thing so differently, it's a wonder we ever manage to procreate wink.  But seriously, give him his space.  If you need to talk come here or find some friends to discuss it with.  In the meantime, for what it's worth, know that you have a lot of folks here pulling for you.

                     

                    Good Luck,

                    Mary

                    Stage 3

                    • May 24, 2013 at 3:47 am
                    Janner
                    Participant

                      My father (stage IV melanoma / stage I lung cancer) was not in a position to have lung surgery at 80+ years old.  He had a high dose 4D radiation for his lung cancer.  That's been over 3 years ago and he's had no additional lung cancer issues to date.  He chose not to have the lymph node dissection for quality of life issues.  But if your husband can't have surgery, there are other treatment possibilities that might be less "stressful".  Just take one hurdle at a time!

                      Best wishes,

                      Janner

                      • May 24, 2013 at 3:47 am
                      Janner
                      Participant

                        My father (stage IV melanoma / stage I lung cancer) was not in a position to have lung surgery at 80+ years old.  He had a high dose 4D radiation for his lung cancer.  That's been over 3 years ago and he's had no additional lung cancer issues to date.  He chose not to have the lymph node dissection for quality of life issues.  But if your husband can't have surgery, there are other treatment possibilities that might be less "stressful".  Just take one hurdle at a time!

                        Best wishes,

                        Janner

                        • May 24, 2013 at 3:47 am
                        Janner
                        Participant

                          My father (stage IV melanoma / stage I lung cancer) was not in a position to have lung surgery at 80+ years old.  He had a high dose 4D radiation for his lung cancer.  That's been over 3 years ago and he's had no additional lung cancer issues to date.  He chose not to have the lymph node dissection for quality of life issues.  But if your husband can't have surgery, there are other treatment possibilities that might be less "stressful".  Just take one hurdle at a time!

                          Best wishes,

                          Janner

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