› Forums › General Melanoma Community › Compensating for memory loss
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POW.
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- September 5, 2012 at 1:03 pm
My brother was suddenly diagnosed with Stage IV MM with numerous brain mets in June. He had WBR in July, which temporarily improved things. He's been taking Zelboraf for 6 weeks, but we don't know yet if it's working. However, he has recently started having memory problems either from the tumors or from the WBR.
My brother was suddenly diagnosed with Stage IV MM with numerous brain mets in June. He had WBR in July, which temporarily improved things. He's been taking Zelboraf for 6 weeks, but we don't know yet if it's working. However, he has recently started having memory problems either from the tumors or from the WBR.
For example, yesterday morning he took the medi-van to his doctor's office. The doctor told him to reduce the dose of one of his medications–the doctor even wrote it down. But when the hospice nurse came to my brother's home later in the day, my brother claimed that he had not been to see the doctor that day. He did not tell the nurse about the medication change. Fortunately, the nurse called me and I straightened it out.
I'm sure that my brother is frightened and embarassed by such incidents. He lives with our 90-year-old mother who's not in such great shape herself. So brother has to go most places, including to doctor's appointments, alone.
But I'm sure that many other people with brain mets have had the same experience. Can anyone suggest any strategies or techniques to help my brother compensate for his memory loss? Obviously, keeping a notebook and pen in his pocket at all times is one thing he could do. But I can't seem to think of anything beyond that.
I would appreciate any help you can give us.
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- September 5, 2012 at 5:13 pm
A journal or planner could help your brother. Once he hears things, he can write it down in the journal or planner. Another method is to have him say what he just heard out loud. Some people can remember things more once they say it themselves a few times. Repetition is good for the brain! He can also write things on post-it notes and put them around the house if he is having trouble remembering things at home. Another thing he can do is to make sure items stay in the same place all the time in his house. This will decrease the chance of him misplacing some important items while at home. If he has difficulty taking medications at certain times, he can set an alarm on his phone, on the radio, or more. Some companies even make some medication dispensers that have a built-in alarm that alert the person when to take the medication. Hope this helps a little!
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- September 5, 2012 at 5:13 pm
A journal or planner could help your brother. Once he hears things, he can write it down in the journal or planner. Another method is to have him say what he just heard out loud. Some people can remember things more once they say it themselves a few times. Repetition is good for the brain! He can also write things on post-it notes and put them around the house if he is having trouble remembering things at home. Another thing he can do is to make sure items stay in the same place all the time in his house. This will decrease the chance of him misplacing some important items while at home. If he has difficulty taking medications at certain times, he can set an alarm on his phone, on the radio, or more. Some companies even make some medication dispensers that have a built-in alarm that alert the person when to take the medication. Hope this helps a little!
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- September 5, 2012 at 5:13 pm
A journal or planner could help your brother. Once he hears things, he can write it down in the journal or planner. Another method is to have him say what he just heard out loud. Some people can remember things more once they say it themselves a few times. Repetition is good for the brain! He can also write things on post-it notes and put them around the house if he is having trouble remembering things at home. Another thing he can do is to make sure items stay in the same place all the time in his house. This will decrease the chance of him misplacing some important items while at home. If he has difficulty taking medications at certain times, he can set an alarm on his phone, on the radio, or more. Some companies even make some medication dispensers that have a built-in alarm that alert the person when to take the medication. Hope this helps a little!
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- September 5, 2012 at 5:30 pm
I'd suggest a voice recorder for when he goes to doctor appointments alone. Then the family can hear exactly what was said if they can't accompany him to the appointment. Obviously, the other part is some type of appointment calendar / diary / blog / whatever he would be willing to do. There are even places like Microsoft's Health Vault where medical data can be input. Also calendars / journals / etc. in smart phones could be "reminders".
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- September 5, 2012 at 5:30 pm
I'd suggest a voice recorder for when he goes to doctor appointments alone. Then the family can hear exactly what was said if they can't accompany him to the appointment. Obviously, the other part is some type of appointment calendar / diary / blog / whatever he would be willing to do. There are even places like Microsoft's Health Vault where medical data can be input. Also calendars / journals / etc. in smart phones could be "reminders".
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- September 5, 2012 at 5:30 pm
I'd suggest a voice recorder for when he goes to doctor appointments alone. Then the family can hear exactly what was said if they can't accompany him to the appointment. Obviously, the other part is some type of appointment calendar / diary / blog / whatever he would be willing to do. There are even places like Microsoft's Health Vault where medical data can be input. Also calendars / journals / etc. in smart phones could be "reminders".
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- September 5, 2012 at 10:09 pm
So this man has stage IV disease and is under the care of hospice, is dealing with memory issues and is taking care of his 90 year old mother. Please tell me he has a lot of help with this, with lots of family members helping him. In my opinion the best strategy and technique would be to have a loving family there with him during these frightening times. God bless this man.
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- September 6, 2012 at 3:11 am
Thank you all for your helpful suggestions. The voice recorder in particular might work for him (you know about guys and their gadgets!). I've already started looking around for the best model. And repeating information out loud is a great idea, too. I'll suggest that to him. Thank you!
Anonymous brings up a good point. Why isn't our family all gathered around helping our brother deal with this horrible disease on a daily basis? Well, we're one of those typical American families where the siblings are scattered all over the country. Nobody lives close by, and we're all still working. The siblings would take turns being there all the time if that's what our brother wanted. But actually, neither my brother nor my mother want that much help.
What they wanted (and my sister and I provided) was information, structure, organization, and coping strategies. They wanted systems set up– like important phone numbers next to the phone. A repeating alarm clock that goes off 4 times a day when it's time to take his pills. A handicapped ID so he could ride the medi-van to doctor appointments. Other than that, my brother wants to keep doing exactly what he has been doing for as long as he can. Including caring for our mother (she's pretty self-sufficient, mostly she needs just company and somebody to open jars). Being her protector is an important part of his identity. He misses most being able to drive (he knows that he would be a danger to himself and others). But they live in a golf cart community and he can get to almost everything he needs in a golf cart.
He's a pretty solitary guy– always has been. Much as he loves his sisters and appreciates our help and concern, he only truly relaxes when all the visitors leave and he can have his peace a quiet back. I guess what I've learned from this experience is that most people have their lives set up pretty much the way they want them to be– particularly in regards to how much "family time" they want. What our family is tyring to do is to respect our brother's preferences and try to make it possible for him to live life his way. Not rush in all aflutter and try to take over his world.
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- September 6, 2012 at 3:11 am
Thank you all for your helpful suggestions. The voice recorder in particular might work for him (you know about guys and their gadgets!). I've already started looking around for the best model. And repeating information out loud is a great idea, too. I'll suggest that to him. Thank you!
Anonymous brings up a good point. Why isn't our family all gathered around helping our brother deal with this horrible disease on a daily basis? Well, we're one of those typical American families where the siblings are scattered all over the country. Nobody lives close by, and we're all still working. The siblings would take turns being there all the time if that's what our brother wanted. But actually, neither my brother nor my mother want that much help.
What they wanted (and my sister and I provided) was information, structure, organization, and coping strategies. They wanted systems set up– like important phone numbers next to the phone. A repeating alarm clock that goes off 4 times a day when it's time to take his pills. A handicapped ID so he could ride the medi-van to doctor appointments. Other than that, my brother wants to keep doing exactly what he has been doing for as long as he can. Including caring for our mother (she's pretty self-sufficient, mostly she needs just company and somebody to open jars). Being her protector is an important part of his identity. He misses most being able to drive (he knows that he would be a danger to himself and others). But they live in a golf cart community and he can get to almost everything he needs in a golf cart.
He's a pretty solitary guy– always has been. Much as he loves his sisters and appreciates our help and concern, he only truly relaxes when all the visitors leave and he can have his peace a quiet back. I guess what I've learned from this experience is that most people have their lives set up pretty much the way they want them to be– particularly in regards to how much "family time" they want. What our family is tyring to do is to respect our brother's preferences and try to make it possible for him to live life his way. Not rush in all aflutter and try to take over his world.
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- September 6, 2012 at 3:11 am
Thank you all for your helpful suggestions. The voice recorder in particular might work for him (you know about guys and their gadgets!). I've already started looking around for the best model. And repeating information out loud is a great idea, too. I'll suggest that to him. Thank you!
Anonymous brings up a good point. Why isn't our family all gathered around helping our brother deal with this horrible disease on a daily basis? Well, we're one of those typical American families where the siblings are scattered all over the country. Nobody lives close by, and we're all still working. The siblings would take turns being there all the time if that's what our brother wanted. But actually, neither my brother nor my mother want that much help.
What they wanted (and my sister and I provided) was information, structure, organization, and coping strategies. They wanted systems set up– like important phone numbers next to the phone. A repeating alarm clock that goes off 4 times a day when it's time to take his pills. A handicapped ID so he could ride the medi-van to doctor appointments. Other than that, my brother wants to keep doing exactly what he has been doing for as long as he can. Including caring for our mother (she's pretty self-sufficient, mostly she needs just company and somebody to open jars). Being her protector is an important part of his identity. He misses most being able to drive (he knows that he would be a danger to himself and others). But they live in a golf cart community and he can get to almost everything he needs in a golf cart.
He's a pretty solitary guy– always has been. Much as he loves his sisters and appreciates our help and concern, he only truly relaxes when all the visitors leave and he can have his peace a quiet back. I guess what I've learned from this experience is that most people have their lives set up pretty much the way they want them to be– particularly in regards to how much "family time" they want. What our family is tyring to do is to respect our brother's preferences and try to make it possible for him to live life his way. Not rush in all aflutter and try to take over his world.
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- September 5, 2012 at 10:09 pm
So this man has stage IV disease and is under the care of hospice, is dealing with memory issues and is taking care of his 90 year old mother. Please tell me he has a lot of help with this, with lots of family members helping him. In my opinion the best strategy and technique would be to have a loving family there with him during these frightening times. God bless this man.
-
- September 5, 2012 at 10:09 pm
So this man has stage IV disease and is under the care of hospice, is dealing with memory issues and is taking care of his 90 year old mother. Please tell me he has a lot of help with this, with lots of family members helping him. In my opinion the best strategy and technique would be to have a loving family there with him during these frightening times. God bless this man.
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