Depression lifting– cut yourself some slack

A week or so ago I shared with you that I had finally realized that I was depressed and that depression was seriously affecting my quality of life and my abililty to earn a living. The advice and support that I received from all of you really helped me. I am now pleased to report that the depression is lifting and things are getting better. 

A week or so ago I shared with you that I had finally realized that I was depressed and that depression was seriously affecting my quality of life and my abililty to earn a living. The advice and support that I received from all of you really helped me. I am now pleased to report that the depression is lifting and things are getting better. 

I think the most important change was to not only recognize that I was depressed, but to stop trying to bull my way through it. I think my initial response to the diagnosis of depression was, "Yeah. OK. I'm depressed. So what? Keep going!" That was just making things worse. And then I would get down on myself even more for my continued lack of productivitity. 

What helped was to take the depression seriously and "treat" it. I decided to make getting exercise and having fun become my top priority. Hence, I did a lot of gardening and permitted myself to take a nap after lunch without guilt (a "curative rest" you might say). I did do a few hours of work each day, but as soon as I realized that I was having to put a gun to my head to keep working, I stopped for the day. Again, NO GUILT allowed!

I started telling myself that I am sick much like my brother (the melanoma patient) is sick. Would I expect him to push and push himself to be productive while he is going through his troubles? Of course not. I would cut him some slack, wouldn't I? So I should cut myself some slack, too. 

By doing little pieces at a time, I finally finished one of the projects I was working on. The finished product has been posted to the Internet, the client is happy, and I'm feeling proud of myself. Yes, it took a few weeks longer than I expected it to, but so what? There aren't exactly ravening hordes of people demaning access to this new computer-based training course. The urgency was in my head. 

I'm cutting myself some slack in other ways, too. If I feel like cooking dinner, I do. If I don't feel like cooking we eat leftovers or get takeout. My husband is perfectly fine with that. As a consquence of this more relaxed attitude, I find myself cooking a decent dinner more often than I was. Again, the pressure and expectations were coming from inside myself. I did get myself to pay the most important bills, but the ones that were not urgent went back in the "To Do" file because I thought it would be healthier for me to take a nap at that moment. NO GUILT.

I won't consider myself "cured" of depression until I get back to my normal level of energy and productivity. I don't know how long that will take– weeks? months? But I am certainly feeling better than I was. I am getting more accomplished than I was (albeit in little bits and pieces). And my garden is certainly looking better than it was!

Thanks again to all of you who helped me with this problem!