Living Will, Advance Directives and that stuff nobody likes to talk about

› Forums › General Melanoma Community › Living Will, Advance Directives and that stuff nobody likes to talk about

  • Post
    • October 4, 2012 at 2:29 am
    Charlie S
    Participant

      It is is important to let others, in a legal way, know how you wish to die.  

      I know, it is not a popular subject; but with all the constant hand wringing around here, the obvious seems to escape some.

      Do you have a living  will?  Do you have advanced directives?  Do you have clearly defined medical directives that remove others from altering your end of life wishes?

      It is is important to let others, in a legal way, know how you wish to die.  

      I know, it is not a popular subject; but with all the constant hand wringing around here, the obvious seems to escape some.

      Do you have a living  will?  Do you have advanced directives?  Do you have clearly defined medical directives that remove others from altering your end of life wishes?

      It is important to do so.  For instance, in my case, after 21 days of vegatative state on supplemental nutrition; all that will be discontinued.  No family member or outsider can chage that because I have advance directives.

      In addition, my directives are very specific about my body and what I want and do not want.  No embalming, cremation and what is next.

      See, this way, all the arguments are over.

      In my mind, this is one part of self determination.

      Either way; take heed and take charge.

      Cheers

      Charlie S

       

       

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    • Replies
        • October 4, 2012 at 5:27 am
        Swanee
        Participant

          I agree Charlie, this part is so important…..so many of us know what we would want  in the end…but it is hard to discuss with our loved ones.   We all want to remain optimistic and hopeful that we will be cured but the statistics are against us (I'm referring to Stg. 4)  and therefore we should all have a plan in place and hopeful we will never have to use it.  It's hard to bring up this topic to family as many interpret it as being negative and giving up on your battle.   Many of us have to go out on our own and make the arrangements ourselves, and  that's o.k.  too.   You know what you want and in the end we all want to live the way we want to, so why would you not think ahead and make these arrangements.  Otherwise, if it's not that important to you, don't worry about it and what will be, will be.  Thanks for reminding us Charlie, about this very important but "beat around the bush" topic!  Melanoma's tough on everyone, in the end, I don't want it to continue be tough after I'm gone.  Thanks for the reminder!  Best wishes to all……Swanee

            • October 4, 2012 at 8:54 pm
            deardad
            Participant

              My dad exactly what Charlie has recommended before he passed away. Fortunately for him and us, he passed quickly and peacefully with no complications (that sounds weird..but I'm sure you know what I mean). For the family left behind, dad had sorted everything out, leaving things in order for my mum to continue her life, which is still such a sad and hard road, but without the added stress of any unfinished business.

              Nahmi

              • October 4, 2012 at 8:54 pm
              deardad
              Participant

                My dad exactly what Charlie has recommended before he passed away. Fortunately for him and us, he passed quickly and peacefully with no complications (that sounds weird..but I'm sure you know what I mean). For the family left behind, dad had sorted everything out, leaving things in order for my mum to continue her life, which is still such a sad and hard road, but without the added stress of any unfinished business.

                Nahmi

                • October 4, 2012 at 8:54 pm
                deardad
                Participant

                  My dad exactly what Charlie has recommended before he passed away. Fortunately for him and us, he passed quickly and peacefully with no complications (that sounds weird..but I'm sure you know what I mean). For the family left behind, dad had sorted everything out, leaving things in order for my mum to continue her life, which is still such a sad and hard road, but without the added stress of any unfinished business.

                  Nahmi

                • October 4, 2012 at 5:27 am
                Swanee
                Participant

                  I agree Charlie, this part is so important…..so many of us know what we would want  in the end…but it is hard to discuss with our loved ones.   We all want to remain optimistic and hopeful that we will be cured but the statistics are against us (I'm referring to Stg. 4)  and therefore we should all have a plan in place and hopeful we will never have to use it.  It's hard to bring up this topic to family as many interpret it as being negative and giving up on your battle.   Many of us have to go out on our own and make the arrangements ourselves, and  that's o.k.  too.   You know what you want and in the end we all want to live the way we want to, so why would you not think ahead and make these arrangements.  Otherwise, if it's not that important to you, don't worry about it and what will be, will be.  Thanks for reminding us Charlie, about this very important but "beat around the bush" topic!  Melanoma's tough on everyone, in the end, I don't want it to continue be tough after I'm gone.  Thanks for the reminder!  Best wishes to all……Swanee

                  • October 4, 2012 at 5:27 am
                  Swanee
                  Participant

                    I agree Charlie, this part is so important…..so many of us know what we would want  in the end…but it is hard to discuss with our loved ones.   We all want to remain optimistic and hopeful that we will be cured but the statistics are against us (I'm referring to Stg. 4)  and therefore we should all have a plan in place and hopeful we will never have to use it.  It's hard to bring up this topic to family as many interpret it as being negative and giving up on your battle.   Many of us have to go out on our own and make the arrangements ourselves, and  that's o.k.  too.   You know what you want and in the end we all want to live the way we want to, so why would you not think ahead and make these arrangements.  Otherwise, if it's not that important to you, don't worry about it and what will be, will be.  Thanks for reminding us Charlie, about this very important but "beat around the bush" topic!  Melanoma's tough on everyone, in the end, I don't want it to continue be tough after I'm gone.  Thanks for the reminder!  Best wishes to all……Swanee

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