› Forums › General Melanoma Community › I guess I just need to vent..
- This topic has 18 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 10 years, 3 months ago by
BrianP.
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- December 9, 2015 at 3:00 pm
Hi everyone, so my wife(42) who has been diaged with stage 4 mets stemming from breast cancer about 4-5 yrs ago now, went thru the chemo, radiation, under arm lymph nodes removal, breast lumpectomy, etc, things seem to be okay from that perspective, now in the past month or so now she has melanoma, a good sized section was taken from her shoulder/arm area(stg2), that took 2 times to get it clean, a week ago she had more spots 'shaved' of her back, at that time a swollen lymph node was detected on her elbow(same arm) which needs to be removed, going to the surgeons on fri to discuss this procedure. So now she is beside herself.. reading so much on the internet(never a good thing, cant get her to not go there), melanoma with lymph node invovlement certainly doesnt sound entry level, Its been challenging at best to support in whatever way I can, but besides just being there for her, it is the most frustrating thing to wactch what is happening and not being able to do a damn thing about it, and now with melanoma.. where is this going??
I know we will find out more in a couple days, and i know there are many out there that are in the same boat, but geez… work, kids, , just everything, why isnt this happening to me instead of her?
thanks for listening, i guess i feel better.. i needed to regain focus.
-keith
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- December 9, 2015 at 5:40 pm
Hi Keith,
Sorry you and your wife are going through this.
One thing I suggest to everyone is to make sure you not only have a melanoma specialist, but to get a second and maybe third opinion. She will likely need a PET, CT and MRI of her brain. So, make sure that you take these images and the reports and that someone looks at the images. – They caught my Mom's brain mets because a 3rd melanoma specialist found the mets. She has Stage IV with 28 brain mets and a craniotomy. She had colitis and thrush. Did have a craniotomy wen the gamma knife radiation failed and there was a reoccurrence after treating one brain met… Very few issues other than what I've mentioned and she does whatever she wants. She will out live me and she's 79. Excellent health other than this.
If you post where you are located many here may be able to direct you to one or more melanoma specialists.
Good Luck!
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- December 9, 2015 at 5:40 pm
Hi Keith,
Sorry you and your wife are going through this.
One thing I suggest to everyone is to make sure you not only have a melanoma specialist, but to get a second and maybe third opinion. She will likely need a PET, CT and MRI of her brain. So, make sure that you take these images and the reports and that someone looks at the images. – They caught my Mom's brain mets because a 3rd melanoma specialist found the mets. She has Stage IV with 28 brain mets and a craniotomy. She had colitis and thrush. Did have a craniotomy wen the gamma knife radiation failed and there was a reoccurrence after treating one brain met… Very few issues other than what I've mentioned and she does whatever she wants. She will out live me and she's 79. Excellent health other than this.
If you post where you are located many here may be able to direct you to one or more melanoma specialists.
Good Luck!
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- December 9, 2015 at 5:40 pm
Hi Keith,
Sorry you and your wife are going through this.
One thing I suggest to everyone is to make sure you not only have a melanoma specialist, but to get a second and maybe third opinion. She will likely need a PET, CT and MRI of her brain. So, make sure that you take these images and the reports and that someone looks at the images. – They caught my Mom's brain mets because a 3rd melanoma specialist found the mets. She has Stage IV with 28 brain mets and a craniotomy. She had colitis and thrush. Did have a craniotomy wen the gamma knife radiation failed and there was a reoccurrence after treating one brain met… Very few issues other than what I've mentioned and she does whatever she wants. She will out live me and she's 79. Excellent health other than this.
If you post where you are located many here may be able to direct you to one or more melanoma specialists.
Good Luck!
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- December 9, 2015 at 6:34 pm
Thank you!, as far as brain MRIs, PET and CT scans.. she gets those quite regularily for her breast cancer.
We are a member of good standings with the Mayo facility in Jacksonville, FL., we are in Orange Park,FL
Do i need to be concerned about getting a second opinion after we see the surgeon on Fri?
It was her dermatologist that caught the swollen lymph node, which was reported back to her oncologist, who then set up this appt with this surgeon to have it removed and tested.
Again, thanks for your response.
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- December 9, 2015 at 6:34 pm
Thank you!, as far as brain MRIs, PET and CT scans.. she gets those quite regularily for her breast cancer.
We are a member of good standings with the Mayo facility in Jacksonville, FL., we are in Orange Park,FL
Do i need to be concerned about getting a second opinion after we see the surgeon on Fri?
It was her dermatologist that caught the swollen lymph node, which was reported back to her oncologist, who then set up this appt with this surgeon to have it removed and tested.
Again, thanks for your response.
-
- December 9, 2015 at 6:34 pm
Thank you!, as far as brain MRIs, PET and CT scans.. she gets those quite regularily for her breast cancer.
We are a member of good standings with the Mayo facility in Jacksonville, FL., we are in Orange Park,FL
Do i need to be concerned about getting a second opinion after we see the surgeon on Fri?
It was her dermatologist that caught the swollen lymph node, which was reported back to her oncologist, who then set up this appt with this surgeon to have it removed and tested.
Again, thanks for your response.
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- December 9, 2015 at 8:21 pm
Hi keith
so sorry to hear of this development for you. it must be so hard when you have a young family. Make sure you get her to a melanoma oncologist asap. There are many of us on this board who have been saved from the brink with the new developments that even excellent general oncologists aren't up to date with. The sooner patients start on systemic treatment the better and that might even help her with her other cancer issues. Even if she is not yet at a stage for that treatment, a good melanoma oncologist will be on the ball when there is a possibility or trial for an immunotherapy.
There is no reason this hits one of us instead of another. It's just life. You just need to stay strong for her and just get her to put one foot in front of the other each day. There is light at the end of the tunnel. I wish you both all the best
anne-Louise
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- December 9, 2015 at 8:21 pm
Hi keith
so sorry to hear of this development for you. it must be so hard when you have a young family. Make sure you get her to a melanoma oncologist asap. There are many of us on this board who have been saved from the brink with the new developments that even excellent general oncologists aren't up to date with. The sooner patients start on systemic treatment the better and that might even help her with her other cancer issues. Even if she is not yet at a stage for that treatment, a good melanoma oncologist will be on the ball when there is a possibility or trial for an immunotherapy.
There is no reason this hits one of us instead of another. It's just life. You just need to stay strong for her and just get her to put one foot in front of the other each day. There is light at the end of the tunnel. I wish you both all the best
anne-Louise
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- December 9, 2015 at 8:21 pm
Hi keith
so sorry to hear of this development for you. it must be so hard when you have a young family. Make sure you get her to a melanoma oncologist asap. There are many of us on this board who have been saved from the brink with the new developments that even excellent general oncologists aren't up to date with. The sooner patients start on systemic treatment the better and that might even help her with her other cancer issues. Even if she is not yet at a stage for that treatment, a good melanoma oncologist will be on the ball when there is a possibility or trial for an immunotherapy.
There is no reason this hits one of us instead of another. It's just life. You just need to stay strong for her and just get her to put one foot in front of the other each day. There is light at the end of the tunnel. I wish you both all the best
anne-Louise
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- December 9, 2015 at 8:59 pm
Keith,
Sorry your family is going through this. Sounds like you've been through enough already. I'm sure the Mayo Clinic is pretty good but I might suggest you get a second opinion at Moffitt if you are able to travel that way. Unfortunately one of their best melanoma specialist recently left (Dr. Weber) but they are still a great institute and do a lot of clinical trials.
Sorry you have had to come to our board but I'm glad you found this place. It is a great place for support and understanding. The more you post about your wife's specific case the more folks will be able to offer advice and act as a spring board for thoughts and questions you might have.
Brian
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- December 9, 2015 at 8:59 pm
Keith,
Sorry your family is going through this. Sounds like you've been through enough already. I'm sure the Mayo Clinic is pretty good but I might suggest you get a second opinion at Moffitt if you are able to travel that way. Unfortunately one of their best melanoma specialist recently left (Dr. Weber) but they are still a great institute and do a lot of clinical trials.
Sorry you have had to come to our board but I'm glad you found this place. It is a great place for support and understanding. The more you post about your wife's specific case the more folks will be able to offer advice and act as a spring board for thoughts and questions you might have.
Brian
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- December 9, 2015 at 8:59 pm
Keith,
Sorry your family is going through this. Sounds like you've been through enough already. I'm sure the Mayo Clinic is pretty good but I might suggest you get a second opinion at Moffitt if you are able to travel that way. Unfortunately one of their best melanoma specialist recently left (Dr. Weber) but they are still a great institute and do a lot of clinical trials.
Sorry you have had to come to our board but I'm glad you found this place. It is a great place for support and understanding. The more you post about your wife's specific case the more folks will be able to offer advice and act as a spring board for thoughts and questions you might have.
Brian
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